Communication

Did you know when couples have a problem communicating that it is in fact, a lack of an emotional skill?

I do not care how many languages you speak, or how many degrees you may have, when you are in fear of abandonment or have serious issues around trust it is incredibly hard to communicate effectively.

Emotions come into play because there is one emotion surfacing that is preventing us from using our logical techniques. (listening, responding, holding space)

If we want to improve the communication we have to deal with said emotion. It’s not about you not knowing what you want to say, at least not always, but more about your fear or discomfort around what you need to say, or hear.

Partners who answer with one word or not at all often don’t mean to come across cold, they can be coming from a place of intimidation.

The more we practice these vulnerable conversations inside of relationships and place great importance on it, we reclaim and strengthen the relationship.

Some techniques to help:
🗝 staying with I statements: your experience only
🗝 fighting fair: Stay. On. Topic.
🗝 understanding before needing to be understood

Long story long, the goal here isn’t to make your partner happy. Say what?! It’s about being more present and gaining the power to shapeshift your relationship entirely.

Email juli.everettlmt@gmail.com for couples sessions or 1:1 💋