For two bodies to be attuned to each other two things have to happen:

🍇 Kinesthetic Awareness: You sense how your body relates to its environment- in this case another body.

🍇 Proprioception: you know how to control your body’s movements.

These skills involve the ability to sense your own body in space and time. Even when you’re blindfolded you can sense that your arm is above your head right?

When it comes to sex both of these skills come in to play. It is not about function or dysfunction but rather about the ability for two bodies to find and relate to each other.

Proprioception gives you the sense of how to move your arms when you want to kiss your partner.

Kinesthetic awareness lets you know how far you need to move and what the strength of your kiss needs to be so that the recipient gets the smooch that you intended!

I know, it sounds super boring, and scientific. Well, sometimes sex and intimacy is an experiment! Picture being in the most sensual, boundless lab you have ever seen. And it’s your body!

How attuned to your own body are you?

Do you ever feel like you and your partner aren’t attuned to your highest desire?

A great place to start is first, with yourself. Understanding the yes and no of your sensual body, that actual physical reaction… a heart pound, a belly drop, a tingle..

It’s Friday loves, and I suggest spending some time this week getting in tune 💋

Email: juli.everettlmt@gmail.com for couples sex and intimacy coaching, or for 1:1.

SEXUAL SELF ESTEEM

🖤 If you know inherently that you are smart when it comes to your job, you don’t question your intellect every day that you walk into work. If you know that you are a good parent your confidence does not dwindle from a disagreement with your child.

🖤 Wouldn’t it be nice if you could always feel that you were sexually attractive and skilled?

🖤 The way your body responds during sex wouldn’t necessarily mean something is wrong, or you are bad. Even if you didn’t get the desired result this time, your attitude about your sexuality should not change

🖤 If you are constantly basing your value of yourself on each sexual encounter than you are putting an undue amount of strain on trying to always get it right, and any enjoyment will surely go out the window. It instead makes sex an opportunity for you to fail. Where is the fun in that?

🖤 I do believe it is important for sex and sexual play to have a personal meaning, however it can be for the best when we operate from the place that: sex determines nothing. It doesn’t determine if you are attractive, or lovable.

🖤 Here is the key difference: dissatisfaction is in between what you wanted and what you got. Failure is a harsh judgment about who you are, based on what you or your partner wanted, and what you both got.

🖤 EXAMPLE: Millions, yes MILLIONS, of women insist that if a man cannot get erect or stay erect that she is to blame. Same goes for men who believe they are inherent failures sexually if they can’t make their partner orgasm one or more times.

🖤 This is simply not true. Having this expectation puts undue pressure on both partners, who may in turn stop having sex all together in order to avoid embarrassment, sense of failure, or an increase in their already low self esteem.

🖤 So! They key is to not question who you are, but to ask more questions of your partner (or yourself if this occurs during masturbation!) and hold deep space and presence so they feel safe to respond to such a vulnerable question.

🖤 email juli.everettlmt@gmail.com to set up couples intimacy coaching or 1:1 sessions.

Trust & Sex

These two things go hand in hand. There are so many things that you need to trust when you are engaging in sensual and sexual play.

When we don’t accept ourselves sexually and sensually it’s pretty hard to imagine anyone else accepting us right?